Лимерики, посвящённые Оральному сексу

oral-banana.jpg

Джим Хэйнс (Jum Haynes) собрал большую коллекцию австралийских лимериков

Часть из них посвящена оральному сексу. Перевода на русский не будет: кому надо - тот переведёт.

The French master said to young Pam,
‘For this subject you don’t give a damn!’
But she undid his flies
With a gleam in her eyes
And soon passed her Oral Exam.
 
For a pretty young actress to start
Her career took some ‘oral art’.
Success was her goal,
She wanted the role,
So she sank her teeth into the part!

There once were three girls from Manila
Who lived with a bloke in a villa.
And they all gave him head
When they got into bed,
’Cos he soaked it all day in vanilla.
 
There was a young wife from Vancouver
Who could use her mouth just like a Hoover
But her husband, she said,
Was no fun in bed,
’Cos he just didn’t like that manoeuvre.

A luscious psychotic named Jane
Once sucked every man on a train.
She said, ‘Please don’t panic,
I’m just nymphomanic,
This wouldn’t be fun were I sane.’
 
A horny young sailor named Fred
Once took a mermaid to bed.
He said, being blunt,
‘I can’t find your cunt,
Can’t you just blow me, instead?’

A gal who was big on hygiene,
Found sucking a penis obscene.
She’d never fellate
The men that she’d date
And only ate pasteurised cream.
 
Old Louis Quatorze was ‘Hot Sterf’.
While playing that game ‘Blindman’s Blerf’
He upended his mistress,
Kissed hers as she kissed his
And so gave the world ‘soixante-neuf’.

Morals have changed in our nation.
Now it’s proper on every occasion,
If the woman feels able,
Then under the table
Is a suitable place for fellation.
 
There once was a girl from Vancouver
Whose mouth had the strength of a Hoover.
When she turned it on high
A week would pass by
Before anyone could remove her.

A girl from an island remote
Met a Frenchman who lived on a boat.
She was soon in his bunk
With a mouth full of spunk
And a bloody big frog in her throat!
 
There once was a whore on the docks,
From dusk until dawn she sucked cocks.
Till one day, it’s said,
She gave so much head,
She exploded and whitewashed two blocks.

There once was a woman from Arden
Sucking a man in a garden.
He said, ‘If I blow,
Where does it go?’
And she said, ‘Mmmng, beg your pardon?’
 
There was a young fellow called Taylor
Who was found fellating a sailor.
When they put him in gaol
He worked out his bail
By sucking the cock of his gaoler.

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